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Boundaries: When to Say Yes and How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend (book review)

October 1, 2020 by Karin Beery Leave a Comment

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives:

— Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances
— Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions
— Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others
— Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator.

Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask:

– Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
– What are legitimate boundaries?
– What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
– How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
– Aren’t boundaries selfish?
– Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.


A friend recommended this book as I was having some relationship issues in my life. I’d heard of it but had never considered reading it. I’m of mixed emotions about this book.

For one thing, it’s fascinating — I had no idea people start learning and setting boundaries at such a young age. I also hadn’t really considered how many different ways there are to establish boundaries (with family, at work, with friends, and even with God). It was also interesting to see how many unhealthy relationships I have in my own life. It’s easy to identify boundary issues in others (especially when it’s not your issue), but it’s a little startling to realize you’ve allowed so many unhealthy behaviors in your own circles.

That brings up the mixed part of the emotions — it’s a little heartbreaking to realize how many people don’t relate well to each other. This book will probably point out a lot of things that you didn’t realize needed tweaking in your life (and they won’t all be easy to accept).

I most enjoyed the sections that used examples. There were a few descriptions that I couldn’t really wrap my head around, but for the most part I found the book easy to read and follow (though not always accept). This isn’t a read-it-in-a-weekend sort of book. It will make you think about your life a lot. I wouldn’t recommend it for someone who’s looking for a light read, but it could definitely be good from that person who wants to establish deeper, more meaningful relationships in his/her life.

Filed Under: book reviews Tagged With: book review, Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend, personal development, personal growth

How I Write: Amanda Cabot

September 21, 2020 by Karin Beery Leave a Comment

Some writers seem to be naturally gifted–they sit down and write, then submit an award-winning manuscript to their editors.

Not exactly. Amanda Cabot’s had more than 30 books published and she still takes the time to edit and revise. Want to know how she does it? Keep reading…

Hello, and thank you so much for being here! Let’s start at the beginning: what do you write? How did you pick your genre?

I write romances – short, long, contemporary, historical, with and without suspense elements. What my stories have in common are heroes and heroines who overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles to reach the happily-ever-after (HEA) that romance readers demand from their books. As for how or why I chose to write romance, I’m not sure I had a choice. My favorite books to read were always those that had the classic HEA, so when it was my turn to write a book, it seemed natural to write a romance.

How long does it take you to: write the book? Edit it? Finalize it?

For me, the whole process (which I describe in more detail below) takes between six and eight months.

Which was harder to write: the first book or the following books?

The following books have been harder for me, simply because I strive to make each one better than the preceding one. That puts a lot of pressure on me to find new plot lines and characters who are distinctly different from the ones in earlier books. It’s hard work, but anything less would disappoint readers, and that’s not something I’m willing to do.

What’s your favorite book on writing?

It’s a toss-up between Dwight Swain’s Techniques of the Selling Writer and Christopher Vogler’s The Writer’s Journey. Swain, as his title indicates, outlines the basics of writing as a craft, while Vogler provides guidelines for effective plotting.

What’s your favorite writers conference? What do you like about it?

Although I haven’t been there in a few years, Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers’ annual Colorado Gold conference is one of my favorites. The hotel is one of the best venues I’ve found for conferences; the workshops are excellent, the attendees and presenters friendly. I always come home energized and enthusiastic about writing.

How do you combat writer’s block?

Writer’s block – what’s that? While I haven’t suffered from it in its classic definition, I used to reach the middle of the first draft and be convinced that what I was writing was the worst prose in the English language and that my editor would reject the book and demand that I return the advance. But, since I had a contract, I continued writing. Each and every time, when I finished the first draft and reread it, I realized that it wasn’t the worst prose in the English language. It was simply a first draft, and first drafts can – and will be – edited into good stories.

What advice do you have for new authors?

Never give up. If you choose the traditional publishing route, rejection is a fact of life. I won’t sugarcoat it: rejection hurts. But if you let it defeat you, if you stop sending out your manuscript because it was rejected, you’re only hurting yourself. Believe in your book and in yourself.

What does your revision process look like?

For me, writing is a multi-step process. I begin with a brief synopsis, which is my selling tool. Once I have a contract, I create a chapter-by-chapter outline, deciding which scenes will be in each chapter. Note: this is not cast in stone. It often changes during the actual writing process, but it provides a basic roadmap.

Next comes the first draft, which I describe as the skeleton. Like Halloween skeletons, it’s ugly, but it’s the framework for the story. I do not revise during the first draft, although I may make notes on pages I’ve already written about changes I want to incorporate into the second draft.

Before I begin the second draft, aka the flesh-and-blood phase, I read through the full manuscript in printed form, making more notes of things I want to change. The second draft is where I incorporate those changes, which may involve adding or deleting scenes. I also add more description and more emotion.

When I finish the second draft, I do another readthrough of printed pages, this time doing what I call the accessories stage – you know, adding makeup and jewelry. The modifications at this stage are minimal, but this is where I catch word repetition, punctuation errors, or other problems that a copyeditor would flag.

Once I’ve finished this phase, I read through the entire manuscript one more time, this time on the computer. It always amazes me how differently my brain sees sentences on the screen compared to on the printed page. It’s only when I’ve done this final readthrough that I’m ready to send the manuscript to my editor.


A young woman with a tragic past has arrived in town . . . and trouble is following close behind

Ten years after her parents were killed, Evelyn Radcliffe is once more homeless. The orphanage that was her refuge and later her workplace has burned to the ground, and only she and a young orphan girl have escaped. Convinced this must be related to her parents’ murders, Evelyn flees with the girl to Mesquite Springs in the Texas Hill Country and finds shelter in the home of Wyatt Clark, a talented horse rancher whose plans don’t include a family of his own.

At first, Evelyn is a distraction. But when it becomes clear that trouble has followed her to Mesquite Springs, she becomes a full-blown disruption. Can Wyatt keep her safe from the man who wants her dead? And will his own plans become collateral damage?

Suspenseful and sweetly romantic, Out of the Embers is the first in a new series that invites you to the Texas Hill Country in the 1850s, when the West was wild, the men were noble, and the women were strong.


Amanda Cabot’s dream of selling a book before her thirtieth birthday came true, and she’s now the author of more than thirty-five novels as well as eight novellas, four non-fiction books, and what she describes as enough technical articles to cure insomnia in a medium-sized city. Her inspirational romances have appeared on the CBA and ECPA bestseller lists, have garnered a starred review from Publishers Weekly, and have been nominated for the ACFW Carol, the HOLT Medallion, and the Booksellers Best awards. A popular workshop presenter, Amanda takes pleasure in helping other writers achieve their dreams of publication.

www.amandacabot.com
https://www.facebook.com/amanda.j.cabot
https://twitter.com/AmandaJoyCabot/
http://amandajoycabot.blogspot.com/

Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Christian Book Distributors

Filed Under: interview Tagged With: Amanda Cabot, author interview, editing tips, interview, writing fiction, writing tips, writing tools

How I Write: Joy Avery Melville

August 24, 2020 by Karin Beery 2 Comments

Authors don’t always publish the first genre they write, and very often the publishing process doesn’t look the way they expected it to. Joy Avery Melville’s journey hasn’t been exactly what she expected, but it’s been fruitful!

What do you write? How/why did you pick your genre.

When I set out to write back in the 70’s, my first full length novel was Historical Romance, since it was my favorite genre to read. I had one full length novel written and had a good share of a second written when God gave me a giant nudge in the direction of Contemporary Women’s Fiction. I don’t even like to read most Women’s Fiction. It is often dark and mostly like to end as dark. Besides, much of Women’s Fiction doesn’t have romance. I enjoy writing romantic encounters and always desire a sigh-worthy or happy-ever-after ending. When God pointed out what He wanted me to write, I stubbornly declined, until His nudges became more and more insistent. I surrendered, but I admit, I begged him for a compromise. I asked if I could write a romantic thread in my story and have a sigh-worthy ending. He gave me His blessing and Meant For Her was written. While writing that one, God gave me the idea of two books to follow it, giving me the Intended For Her Series. Shortly after that He brought something else to my heart and mind in keeping with the Women’s Fiction genre, and Sown In Peace was written right after I wrote Kept For Her (book 2 in the Intended For Her Series) Sown In Peace brought out the possibilities for two more books, giving me a series, Operation Return To Peace. Having written three of the novels in Women’s Fiction, I’m not looking back at what was once my desire to write Historical Romance. God has blessed my obedience, even though there’ve been some spiritual obstacles and hurdles to deal with in the process.

What’s the most difficult part of writing your genre? How do you work through those challenges?

Keeping the main thrust of the story’s issue/theme uppermost without belaboring it and without taking the fiction out of the novel. Keeping the balance in the work is probably the biggest challenge, but I’m blessed by getting to write romantic threads into my stories, easing the heaviest portion of the books. I also interject some humor throughout my novels via character input.

If you’ve written multiple books, which was the harder: the first book or the following books? Why?

Writing my first book, came easily. Decades later, you could say my first Women’s Fiction genre book was also a first book, because it was so different, and my perspective on life was very different due to a vast array of more experiences. Even though the book took a very different form of research, the writing came very easily to me again.

I consider another type of “first book”, having written series novels now. The first book of each series has been much easier to write than the sequels, due to having to trickle in bits of the first books without telling the entire stories of those preliminary novels in the second ones. I find that to be the largest obstacle in series writing and getting the second book written in such a way to entice readers who haven’t read the first one to go get it, and keep those who’ve read it reminded lightly of what went before in the first novel without boring them with a retell.

What’s your writing day like?

My writing days vary, depending on what I’m doing for whichever novel I’m writing. If I’m at the point where it’s strictly writing, I’m up, thanks to my dog, by 5:30, and after dealing with her, I’m dressed and sitting in my chair at my desk and reading the last chapter I’ve written. Normally, I can dig in and start on the next chapter and its first scene. I usually have everything sitting where I want it in order to just write. My character lists, and any words/terms/phrases specific to characters is with those lists. I also keep my timeline at my other side. It holds a blank calendar of the year(s) the book takes place, and each chapter is listed in pencil on the day it takes place. I say pencil, because I’ve had to change dates upon occasion. Each scene is listed as I write them under the chapter with a very small detail, due to the size of the calendar blocks (usually only character pov is listed with scene number) I write for an hour, get my hubs out of bed, fix his breakfast, spend time with him in prayer, and see if him off to work. I usually grab my coffee and head back to my desk, until Bella-Bindi decides she must go out again. By then, I’ve usually gotten in three solid hours, and my body is ready for a break. My doctors have chastised me for the long sessions at my desk, but my characters are very demanding, and I hate leaving them hanging. I normally take a late lunch, deal with Bella and any mundane things I have to take care of for that particular day and by two o’clock I’m back at my desk for another stint. I don’t usually write after five o’clock, but there’ve been times when I didn’t want to lose a thread, and I go back to it after supper to finish out a scene/chapter.

On days where I need to research, my writing is much more haphazard than the above. I prefer the ones I can just write.

How do you prepare to write your books: pantser, plotter, both, something completely different? Describe your strategy.

The very first thing I do, is determine who my heroine is. Second, I decide what her biggest fear is, her heaviest angst, and what caused them. I get a clear picture of her backstory, often pages of backstory. Then, I determine what is going to challenge her. My second thing is to determine setting, from backstory to present. Next, I set up people she’s going to have to meet to get from backstory to the end of the novel she’s in. Quite often, in the writing, people/characters enter the story, I hadn’t planned on, but usually I have figured out who is going to hold POV and why. Then, I have to plot my poor hero, who has no idea what’s going to hit him. His entire backstory unfolds, and I set him up. From there, I do a synopsis (not one I’d be willing for an agent or editor to see yet) and give myself a preliminary sketch of what will have to happen to get them both from entrance of story to that sigh their sigh-worthy ending with plenty of tension and conflict thrown in. I spend a lot of time on my characters. I’ve been known to spend a full day on digging into the right names… then changing them… if they do something that makes me think the name no longer fits. Crazy as that may sound, I think getting to know my characters, naming them, figuring out why they are the ‘people’ they’ve become, is my favorite part of getting the novel underway. With those types of plotting mechanisms behind me, I’m a pantser. The story unfolds as the characters drive it. There’ve been times, they’ve gone into a place, I’ve had to stop and research, and decide if I really want them doing that or going there, and only a couple times, have I pulled them back out and made them go a different direction. So, that said, I’d say I am a plotter, pantser, plotter to the end of a novel. Lol

If you’re self-published, why did you decide to go that route? If you’re traditionally published, why did you decide to go that route?

I am self-published, or the title most of us prefer using, indie (independently) published. As for why I decided to go that route? I never ever was going to go the indie route. I had a wonderful agent, who worked diligently with and for me. He believed in my story, believed it was a story God had definitely asked me to write, and we both prayed God would put it into the right hands to get it published. While we did that, I wrote the second book of the series, a first book of another, and a first book of yet another. I was offered two different contracts for the first book, but the publisher wanted the Women’s Fiction taken out of the story. They loved the Romance and wanted me to write straight Contemporary Romance. After all the arguments I had with God about even writing the Women’s Fiction genre, I wasn’t going to slap Him in the face and tear it out of the book. When the second first book of a series was pitched, I was offered contracts by those same companies, with the same stipulations. My agent and I prayed so hard about what I should do, and each time he came back with, “If your heart even suggests keeping it in Women’s Fiction, I’m behind you.” There aren’t very many agents who’re willing to let a commission go in order to preserve story. I felt God nudging me into going the indie route, but fear was a big obstacle. I knew nothing about it. My freelance editor has indie published for many years with many books of various genres. She’s a formatting expert, a graphic designer expert, and she offered to do my book covers with me and format my books with me, since I’d been editing books for her for years. I finally prayed, asking God to use my agent again to give me the correct advice. I called him a month later, told him what was on my mind, half expecting him to tell me to wait it out. Instead, he encouraged me to go forward with it, asking that I show him the final cover, blurb, format for approval, even though technically, he’d not be selling it. I went indie. Before the book came out, I got a letter from my agent, dissolving our agreement, releasing me from having to pay him any royalties. I thought God had given me an agent to sell my books, but I firmly believe He gave me an agent for all of the advice, the prayer time he spent on me and my novels, and ultimately to steer me into the indie publishing route.

How do you self-edit your manuscript?

The very first thing I do, is hunt out my weasels—overused words—that I just cannot seem to get out of my head once I’ve used them. They vary book-to-book, too. I’m conscious of the ones from my last book, so seem to watch when and how I use them when writing the next one. Then, create new ones in the process. When I’ve finished compiling that list, I work on checking through POV issues, making sure each scene has the right character POV consistently throughout the scene. Then I move on to going through the story itself. I read and reread a chapter, making changes and tweaks as I go. When that’s finished, I double check consistency with setting and character details, sometimes inserting more, sometimes taking out portions. When that’s done, I reread the entire book, often making more changes here or there. Then, it goes to my editor.

What does your revision process look like?

Since my editor and I work chapter-by-chapter, often going through the chapter more than once to be sure every kink is worked out, my revisions take place after each of her edits of a single chapter. Then, when we’ve been through the entire book, I go back and double check for any of those insidious weasels. When that’s done, the book goes to proof reader number one, then I do whatever tweaking is necessary and send the book to proof reader number two. The process has worked fine for the two books that have been through it thus far. We’ll see if that continues to hold true for the next ones.


Joy Avery Melville’s heart’s desire is to be the author God has called her to be by sharing Him with readers in such a way they long to have a deeply committed personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Lord.

Fully intending to write Historical Romance—had in fact— she had no plans to deviate from that. God had something else in mind for that ‘call’ He’d made on her life back in 1967. A mere eighth grader at the time, she had no clue about the topics she’d be drawn to write about.

Surrendering to the genre God placed on her heart has given Joy new insight into the hearts and lives of those who too often hurt in silence.

The settings of Joy’s books are near where she lives in Schoolcraft, Michigan with her husband of nearly 47 + years and their 21 mo-old Yorkie, Is-A-Bella Bindi, (Is-a-beautiful little girl) who thinks she’s a much larger breed with tomboy tendencies.

Joy loves to hear from readers and will respond!

https://www.joyaverymelville.com
https://www.journeystojoy.net
https://www.amazon.com/author/joyaverymelville
https://www.goodreads.com/joyjournalinggmailcom
https://www.bookbub.com/profile/joy-avery-melville
https://twitter.com/Journeystojoy

Filed Under: interview Tagged With: author interview, Joy Avery Melville, self-publishing, writing tips

How I Write: Christina Sinisi

August 17, 2020 by Karin Beery Leave a Comment

Some writers wait for the muse before they write (not a recommended strategy), but not Christina Sinisi. She actually turns to simple math to help her get her stories written–and it’s working! With two novellas and one novel releasing in three years, she’s figured a few things out, and she’s here to share her secrets.

Thank you for being here! First things first: what do you write?

Thank you for having me! I write Christian Contemporary Romance. So far, I’ve sold two Christmas novellas—The Christmas Confusion came out last November and Christmas on Ocracoke is expected this December—and one full-length novel is expected next summer, Sweet Summer. 

I chose this genre because it reflects who I am. My faith is the most important thing in my life, followed by my husband of 34 years and my children. Now, did I realize that at first? No. I was writing fantasy/sci fi and getting nowhere until a friend (who also happens to be a NY Times best-selling author) said I think you should write inspirational. She was right.

What’s the most difficult part of writing your genre? How do you work through those challenges?

There’s a balance between demonstrating how God works in people’s lives and being preachy; I need to work to find that happy medium, not lukewarm, but neither do I want to turn people off. I want to depict people’s struggles with their faith as well as how wonderfully faith can be a comfort in the tough times.

How long does it take you to: write the book? Edit it? Finalize it?

Don’t hate me—but I can write in whatever time frame I’m given. I wrote The Christmas Confusion in 3 and a half weeks because that’s how long I had between seeing the call for novellas and the deadline. I set a goal and I reach it. Now, if I could only do that with my diet. J

What’s your favorite book on writing? What do you like about it?

Deb Dixon’s GMC, Goal Motivation and Conflict is a very hands-on and useful book. I use her charts for every book I write. I find it really important to get to know my characters as people and the plot follows from there.

What conference do you most want to attend? Why?

I’ve attended RWA and Moonlight and Magnolias several times each, as far as the general romance writing world, but I have yet to attend ACFW. Since this is my writer’s world now and I really love our local chapter members so I look forward to attending the national conference as soon as I can.

What’s your writing day like?

I rarely get a day to just write. I’m a professor in my day job and that, along with being department chair, never seems to completely stop.

In the summer, though, I do get afternoons or mornings depending on what comes up. When I sit down to write, I usually journal first as a warm-up. Then, I write until I reach my page count for the day.  I set my page count by literally counting the days until the book is due (or, when I don’t have an official deadline, I’ll set one) and divide.

So, for example the typical novel is around 300 pages (check guidelines for whichever publisher you’re considering submitting) and if I have three months…I’ll give myself a week for plotting and planning and creating the GMC for my characters. Then, I’ll deduct at least a week or two at the end to revise and edit and send to a writing partner for critique. So, that gives me about 2 months and a week which rounds out to 5 pages a day. That’s not hard!!

What advice do you have for new authors?

If you love writing, keep at it. Don’t let rejections or the lack of time or everybody’s confusion—how can you keep writing when you’re getting nowhere—get to you. I mean, what else are you going to do with your spare time? Binge watch Netflix all day? Nah.

How do you self-edit your manuscript?

I was a member of RWA for over a decade and attended monthly workshops as much as possible so I’ve learned quite a few strategies on self-editing and revising. Generally, I love the process where you take turns going through the manuscript, maybe with different colored post-it notes looking at different things. These passes can include—POV, romance threat, conflict thread, faith thread, and grammar. I’ll also take notes as I go about small points I need to check on—like does my secondary character have the same name through the entire thing (I tend to write fast and try out different options). I talk more about plotting and this pass-through process in my own blog at www. https/ChristinaSinisi.com


A member of the American Christian Ficiton Writers, Christina Sinisi writes stories about families, both the broken and blessed. Her works include a semi-finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest and the American Title IV Contest in which she appeared in the top ten in the Romantic Times magazine. Her published books include The Christmas Confusion and the upcoming Sweet Summer, the first two books in the Summer Creek Series, as well as the upcoming Christmas On Ocracoke expected this December. By day, she is a psychology professor and lives in the Lowcountry of South Carolina with her husband and two children and cat Chessie.

Website/Blog: https://www.christinasinisi.com/
Twitter: @ChristinaSinisi
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Christina-Sinisi-Author-105861987440664/?modal=admin_todo_tour
Instagram: @csinisi123
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/csinisi/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/101218889-christina-sinisi

Filed Under: interview Tagged With: author interview, editing tips, self-editing, writer's conference, writing tips

Copy and Paste Book Reviews

August 10, 2020 by Karin Beery 2 Comments

Authors love book reviews. Not because we want to hear how great we are but because review numbers help us (and others) see how many people are reading our books. They let us know if (and how) we’re connecting with our readers. In some cases, they even help us promote our books by tipping the algorithms in our favor. If every person who bought a book left a review, it could possibly change the course of an author’s career!

But a lot of people don’t leave reviews for a lot of reasons:

  • They don’t know what to say.
  • They want the review to be perfect.
  • They’re afraid of saying something wrong or hurtful.
  • They’re not great writers and the thought of writing even a few words for a review terrifies them.

If you fall into any of these categories, can I offer some comfort?

  1. A book review is an opinion, and you’re entitled to your opinion regardless of whether or not anyone else agrees with it.
  2. All book reviews help.
  3. You’re not responsible for the author’s feelings. If you didn’t like the book, be honest. If the author can’t take criticism, he/she shouldn’t be publishing books.
  4. Reviews don’t have to be long or perfect. Two words (loved it/hated it) work.

And now, the reason for this post—I want to help readers stop worrying so much about reviews and actually post them! Here’s how this works: below are reviews divided into three categories (loved it, liked it, hated it). Feel free to copy and paste as your book review anytime you want to help an author out but you don’t want to worry about what to write:

Loved It

Great story—couldn’t put it down! Can’t wait for the next book.

Loved it!

Loved the characters. Loved the plot. Love this author.

Another great book by a great author. I can’t wait to read the next book.

So good I’ll probably read it again!

Liked It

A fun read.

Good story.

Not my favorite book by this author, but I still enjoyed it.

Not my favorite type of story, but I still enjoyed it.

A little unbelievable in some places, but I still liked it.

A fun way to spend the weekend.

Hated It

I really wanted to like this book, but I didn’t. It’s just not my style.

I tried to like this book, but I couldn’t get into it.

I know a lot of people liked this book, but it’s not for me.


Owner of Write Now Editing, Karin Beery is an active member of American Christian Fiction Writers and the Christian Editor Network, where she teaches several editing classes through the PEN Institute and serves as the coordinator for the Christian Editor Connection. She is the Managing Editor of Guiding Light Women’s Fiction, an imprint of Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas. Her sophomore novel, Practically Married, is a 2020 Serious Writer Book of the Year finalist.

Filed Under: best practices Tagged With: book review, book reviews

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A passionate lover of fiction, Karin doesn't just write novels, she helps others write their best stories! A certified substantive editor with the Christian Editor Connection, her goal is to help authors to put her out of business by equipping them with the tools they need to become better writers.

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