Write Now Editing

5 Ways Realism Ruins Good Fiction

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Let’s be honest—unless it’s vital to a plot, most people don’t want to read about a character’s bowel movements, mouthy kids, or hangnails. Often authors include mundane details to make their characters seem more realistic, but that realism doesn’t always come across well in books. Today we’re going to quickly look at five things you can reduce/eliminate from your manuscript to help strengthen your story.

  1. Small talk. If you were raised before cell phones, your calls probably started like this:
    “Hello, this is the Van Burens.”
    “Hi, is your mom there?”
    “May I ask who’s calling?”
    “Mr. Smith from the insurance agency.”
    “One moment, please.”
    It’s polite and informative, but in a book, it takes up too much space and slows down the story. You don’t necessarily want your characters to be rude, but you don’t need a hello/goodbye in every conversation either. And unless the weather is important to the plot, you don’t need to show people discussing it.
  2. Introspection. Most people overthink things, be it every decision they make or only those related to a specific subject. That’s normal. But it doesn’t work well in books. It’s okay—even expected—to have characters reflect on situations, but after they do it once, move on. You don’t need to remind your readers over and over again of a character’s ideas, nor do you need to show the characters thinking about every situation they experience. When you repeat thoughts/scenes/reactions, you give readers a reason to skip pages. Once they start to skip, they’ll keep skipping (so don’t give them a reason).
  3. Well, so, okay, etc. Just because people say it in real life doesn’t mean it needs to appear in your dialogue. It’s amazing how many times well and so appear in manuscripts when authors start their sentences with them—they can show up hundreds of times! That’s a lot of words that could be used to show something more important to the plot. The same is true for filler words such as like, okay, um, uh-huh. Leaving them out won’t make the dialogue feel unnatural but including too many of them will slow the pace and stand out as unnecessary.
  4. Step-by-step instructions. Every morning I wake up, let the dogs out, feed them, pack my husband’s lunch, then start breakfast. Not many people care, and they shouldn’t. It’s boring. So is explaining how to put the key in the ignition, start the car, throw it into reverse, pull out of the driveway, and slide it into drive before heading into town. Whether we want to or not, we live orderly lives—you often can’t do one thing (drive into town) without doing another thing first (starting the car). Readers don’t need to see each of those steps though. If it’s important to show a character’s nighttime routine, show it once. Then trust your reader to remember it and move on to other important details of the story.
  5. Repetition. Similar to #4 but slightly different, readers don’t need to see character repeating themselves. Yes, we’ve all had experiences where we had to tell the same story over and over again, but you don’t want to do that on the page. Remember #2? When you start repeating things, readers are tempted to skip pages. Don’t give them a reason! Find creative ways to convey what’s happening in a scene without actually repeating every detail. Your readers will thank you.

Yes, you want your characters to be realistic, but too much realism can slow down a story and kill the intensity. When you look for and cut back on these five things, you’ll naturally tighten your story without sacrificing characterization.

My sophomore novel—Practically Married—releases October 2019! Sign up for my monthly newsletter and you’ll receive sneak peeks, behind-the-scenes stories, and pictures of my cats and dogs. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for writing tips, updates on Guiding Light, and more!

Trust Your Reader (a.k.a. Stop Over Explaining)

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My younger sister is a teacher. She often gives directions, then has to repeat them, then has to explain them (as high school students aren’t necessarily known for their listening skills). Because of that, she’s gotten into the habit of repeating and overexplaining things when she talks to her family and friends. It’s not uncommon to hear something like this:

We need to leave the house by three so we don’t get stuck in rush hour traffic. Rush hour is usually between four and six, and that’s when traffic is the heaviest because everyone gets out of work at the same time. It can take twice as long to drive through rush hour, so we need to leave the house by three.

That kind of over explanation works in small doses, but even those of us who know her well have to occasionally remind her that we don’t need step-by-step instructions for everything. People who don’t know her can feel insulted by the repetitiveness (as if she thinks they aren’t smart enough to understand what she’s talking about).

What does this have to do with novel writing? Everything!

Why? Because new authors tend to overexplain and repeat everything to make sure the reader knows what’s going on. Instead of making things clear, however, the readers (like people who don’t know my sister) often feel insulted (and bored) as they reread the same information over and over again.

How do you make sure you’re not overexplaining (and insulting your reader)? Here are two ways you can trust your reader more:

  1. Don’t explain the obvious. There are a lot of ways writers do this. Some are on the smaller scale. For example, she clapped her hands—you can delete her hands because she wouldn’t clap her feet. A larger scale explanation would be something like the rush hour example. The majority of people know what rush hour is. There’s no need to explain it. The few people who don’t understand it will look it up.
  2. Don’t repeat the details. After you introduce a character with blue eyes, you don’t have to mention those details every time she shows up on the page. Another point-of-view character might notice her eye color the first time he sees her, but there’s no reason to mention them in every scene she’s in. The reader will remember. The same is true for her age, hair color, height, etc. (A couple of reminders throughout the story are fine, but mention these details too many times and the reader will start skimming.)

Start looking for and keeping track of these things (e.g. how many times do you mention your characters’ ages?) and you’ll not only tighten your writing, you’ll keep the reader engaged and wanting more.

Novelization or Narrative Retelling?

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I recently read a book that was described as a novelization of a true story. Based on that description, I had several expectations for the story—a structured plot, some character development, incorporating the senses, etc. Instead, I got some history, some explanations, and several chapters of helpful information, but no story.

Overall, the book disappointed me. I wanted to get pulled into the characters heads; to experience their lives with them; to be transported into their homes and situations—everything I expect from a novel. But that book wasn’t a novel, and it never should have been labeled that way.

But, but … it had dialogue! It was written in third person!

Yes, it was, but that doesn’t make it a novel. A book needs to meet certain requirements before you can call it a novel; without those things, you have a creative or narrative retelling, but you do not have a novel.

What does a book need, then, to be considered a novel? Whether you’ve created everything or are telling someone else’s true story, a novel needs:

Take all of those, organize them well, and POOF! A novel. If you’re lacking any of these things, you’re probably not writing a novel. How can you tell?

  • The dialogue doesn’t add to the story; it’s just there.
  • You have whole chapters of information without showing the characters do anything.
  • Your book is more about giving information than it is about entertaining the reader.

If the above bullet points describe your book, it doesn’t mean you have a bad book—it just means you’re not writing a novel. These subtleties make a big difference when you’re marketing your book. It’s important to understand the difference, because mislabeling your book (and thereby mis-advertising it) can set you up for failure.

Take the book I recently read: if it had been called a narrative or creative retelling, it would have been a pretty good book. I would have been better prepared for the history lessons and lack of structure. Because I wanted to read a novel, however, it disappointed me. As much as I wanted to leave a good review, I couldn’t because I didn’t have a good experience reading the book (I do still recommend the book, but I tell people it’s not a novel).

Don’t stop writing your book and don’t change your style. Just know what you’re writing so you can get it into the hands of the right audience.

Have you ever read a good book that disappointed you? What happened?

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What Happened to Act I? 4 Tips for Creating Meaningful Connections with Characters

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One of the great things about fiction is the opportunity to step into someone else’s head and not only experience a new and different life, but to feel the excitement, anguish, and fear right along with the character. But why do some books elicit such deep emotions from the reader while others fall short? It’s all about connecting with the characters.

Have you ever read a book that you wanted to love, but you just couldn’t make yourself care what happened to the characters? Or maybe you wanted to know what happened, but you never felt any sympathy for or excitement with the characters? Either way, the problem is the same—you never developed a connection with the characters, so you never invested in their lives.

Why does it matter? Because people won’t read about characters they don’t care about.

Yes, you might find some readers who just want to know how the story ends, so they skim pages and skip long paragraphs to get to the last chapter (or, if you’re like me, you read the last chapter to see if you’ll like the ending, then decide if the book’s worth your time). Don’t give readers an excuse to skip pages! Instead, give them the chance to get to know your characters so they’re not merely curious to see what happens, they care about what happens.

How do you create meaningful connections with characters?

Stop skipping Act I.

Perhaps the most traditional (and well known) story structure is the three-act structure—beginning, middle, and end. Another way to understand and discus the three acts is:

  • Act I: Introduction
  • Act II: Body/Story
  • Act III: Conclusion

In a ridiculously short summary, these three parts essentially mean:

  • An introduction of characters, setting, and plot.
  • Watching the characters interact with each other within the setting to advance the plot.
  • When the characters work through the final plot issues to resolve the story with a satisfactory ending.

The part I really want to focus on is Act I, the introduction. It’s becoming more and more common to see that part of the story stripped down (if not completely eliminated) in an effort to jump right into the plot.

Don’t. Do it.

For years now, writers have been told to start their stories with action. Yes, that is absolutely true, but that doesn’t mean you dive right into the plot without first introducing all of the key players and plot elements. Don’t sacrifice Act I for the sake of action. When you do that, your reader doesn’t know whether to root for the woman on the run or hope she gets caught—without an introduction, you throw the reader into a confusing situation, and you never want to confuse the reader.

How, then, do you start your story?

  1. Start with action that’s appropriate for the genre and story. If you’re writing suspense, it’s understandable and often acceptable to open with a woman on the run, then reveal that character to the reader as you go. That’s part of the suspense plot. If, however, you’re writing women’s fiction, the action needs to appropriate: a working woman grocery shopping, a mom pushing a stroller while she jogs, two sisters sorting through their deceased father’s possessions. All of these things are active. It doesn’t have to be a car chase or gun fight, as long as it doesn’t start with the main character thinking for two pages.
  2. Introduce the main characters.Imagine you’re at a barbecue. Your friend brings over a stranger and says, “This is my co-worker, Larry.” Besides what Larry looks like, you only know one thing about him. That’s not a great introduction, but that’s how many authors start their books. Instead, use this introduction: “This is my co-worker, Larry. He just moved to town last month and is looking for a new massage therapist to treat back issues resulting from a car accident. I thought you might be able to help him since you work at a chiropractor’s office and have connections in that industry.” Wow. Now the reader understands Larry. They may not be able to relate to his situation, but they’ll understand why he hires someone to walk his dog and stop thinking he’s lazy. You’ve helped create empathy.
  3. Show the setting. Where and when a story takes place will impact the events of the story. For example, a cruise ship is sinking. How should the reader react to that? It’s hard to know if you don’t know when or where the ship is sinking. If it’s off the coast of Florida in 2005, the Coast Guard will be there with speed boats and helicopters—exciting! If, however, it’s 1912 in the North Atlantic Ocean, it’s tragic. Make sure you show the setting.
  4. Establish normalcy. If the reader doesn’t know what life is like for your characters, they won’t know how to respond when unusual events happen. Say your character is sitting in her car at a red light when two cars plow into the intersection and crash. She calmly calls 9-1-1, gives a statement when the police arrive, then goes home where her husband hugs her and tells her how proud he is of her and how amazing she is. Why? Without establishing her normal—that she’s an army veteran with severe PTSD who curls into a ball and suffers flashbacks when a balloon pops—there’s no way to understand her breakthrough by being able to call for help and drive herself home. Take the time to establish normalcy so the reader can recognize important moments.

By including these four elements, you’ll make it easier for your reader to connect with the characters, which will establish the emotional connection that pulls the reader through the story.

First Impressions: First Chapters by Lora Doncea

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First impressions are powerful! The first key to success is to get potential readers to buy your book out of the thousands of options available to them. We talked about how to do that HERE. But that’s only half the battle to success. You want them to read your story, enjoy it so much that they write positive reviews about it, tell their friends and family about it, and expand your fan base.

If someone buys your book but never reads it, you haven’t accomplished your biggest goal—to have someone fully appreciate your writing. After all, isn’t that why you write? You’ve poured vast amounts of time, energy, heart, and soul into communicating a message and telling an impactful story. Not just for yourself, but so that others would enter your world, become completely immersed in it, and relish the experience!

How can you get someone to read your entire book? That is an incredibly difficult task. People are unbelievably busy and pulled in too many directions, and it’s hard for them to find time or energy to even start a book. And even if they start, it’s much too easy to be distracted and put it down. Or fall asleep out of exhaustion. You need to utterly captivate them so that once they start reading, they can’t put your book down! When they do, they keep thinking about it…wondering what happens next and eagerly anticipating finishing it.

In order to achieve that, you must hook them from the start. That’s where so many writers fail. Here’s an example of the first paragraph of a book:

It was a warm, balmy evening. The kind that makes you sleepy. The city traffic noises are hypnottic. Like walking in a dream. A familiar dream, of the city. Gritty. Ugly. You start sweating. You know that danger is lurking, but right now you feel drowsy from lack of sleep. And lethargic. Even though your an FBI Agent. A famous one. Granite yawned and turned the corner.

FAIL! The reader isn’t hooked and most likely won’t continue very long (if at all). They’ll move on to something else. What went wrong? Their first impression of the story is negative. You never want that to happen. The first words they read must be absolutely riveting. The example above failed for several reasons:

* First, it’s boring. Start every first chapter with a gripping first scene. It doesn’t matter what genre you are writing. Captivate the reader!

* Next, we have no idea who is talking, where they are, what they are doing. We can’t visualize this scene and are stuck with a bunch of vague pieces that don’t fit together. What city is this? Why is this person drowsy and feeling dreamy when danger is lurking? Whoa! It’s an FBI agent! Why isn’t he on guard? Where is he? Is he walking or driving—or sleepwalking—when he turns the corner? This is too confusing to follow.

* The typos are distracting. “Hypnotic” is spelled with one “t.” There is no comma after “dream.” And, of course, the ultimate inexcusable typo—“your” should be “you’re.”

* There are too many stops. Don’t overuse. The short. Incomplete phrases. They are jolty. When written. This. Way. They are a special effect to be used sparingly and subtly. Using incomplete phrases is an art form. If you don’t know how to do it effectively, don’t do it…or it will backfire on you.

* It’s much, much too repetitive. Readers are smart. I’m going to say it again: readers are smart. They get it the first time. When you repeat something over and over, it’s demeaning—and irritating. If you tell us something once, we capture it in our “first impression.” Don’t say it again ten different ways or repeat it multiple times throughout the book. In this example, we get that the person is sleepy. You don’t have to say anything more about it unless he either falls asleep or something wakes him up.

Repetition is so overused by authors that I can’t stress it enough. We GET the first impression you give us, now give us something else. I constantly read descriptions like: “Her stunning blue eyes took his breath away.” In the next scene, “He was mesmerized when her blue eyes met his.” In the next scene, “His heart stuttered when she turned her blue eyes to him.” Then “Her blue eyes pierced his very soul.” Please stop! We know he is entranced by her blue eyes. Give us new information—a new visual, a new emotion, new body language.

Important: A professional editor would point out all of these problems, so make sure you utilize the expertise of someone who can help you succeed.

OK, let me make an attempt at a riveting first scene. Remember: you have only one chance to make an effective first impression!

The roaring in his head competed with the screams—high, piercing cries. What happened? He tried to get up, but his body was paralyzed. Dead weight. Something wet ran down his face, probably blood. A sniper must have hit his spinal cord. The screaming continued in his ear, and he fought with all his might to move.

Yelling, he bolted up—in bed, soaked and shaking. His German Shepherd whined and licked his hand. He gasped heavily to catch his breath and absently patted her head. She had been licking his face and crying, her usual method of waking him from the nightmares that tormented him most nights. His heart hammered wildly. He flicked on the light. No blood, no paralysis, no sniper. Just full-blown panic that felt exactly like…that horrible day.

He got up and stumbled to the bathroom, turning on the bright lights and leaning over the sink. The panic attack would take a while to subside. How long could he continue to live like this and not go crazy? He splashed cold water on his face, then scrubbed it hard with a towel. He caught his reflection in the mirror. A haggard old man with crazed and bloodshot gray eyes met him. He turned away. Rubbed his head and felt the thick scar under his sweaty cropped hair. The scar that stretched to his soul.

It was 4:10 a.m. More sleep than he usually got. He needed to take a shower and get himself under control. Become someone else—successful and highly esteemed FBI Special Agent Jim Granite. Always put together, always confident, the tough man who put more criminals behind bars than any other in New York. Fearless. Made of granite, just like his name.

As he turned on the shower, a strobing wail pierced the air—urgent call from work. He stumbled to get it.

Much better! Why? We are yanked into another world by the very first sentence, and the tension never lets up! We get a clear first impression of the main character. We know his secret immediately, and we are eager to find out exactly what happened to cause these night terrors. However, he hides it extremely well. He’s a successful and highly esteemed FBI special agent in New York. He’s tough as granite. We already feel like we know him—we are in his POV (feeling what he feels, thinking what he does). I’ve established a gripping first impression that you will cling to through the rest of the book.

Remember, it’s critical to establish every character the moment we see them. In real life or watching a movie, we take a full snapshot of the person. You need to write this way. In this case, we know he has gray eyes, short hair, and a deep scar on his scalp. He’s solidly built and tough. As soon as I can, I’ll describe his face (if he puts on glasses, if he shaves, if he has facial hair), his height, and how others view him. There’s nothing worse than imagining a character in your own way because the writer doesn’t describe them, then in the middle of the book they suddenly have blue-streaked hair, oversized glasses, and a peg leg! Tell us immediately what we would see if we were there. First impressions—even our own made-up descriptions—will stick with us through the entire story, and if you change or add things later on, we will balk at it.

Also, your plot needs to be racing forward. The reader needs to be yanked into the story and can’t get out. After we realize Granite is going to get himself together, he gets an urgent call from work. No lingering in the shower or drinking coffee or doing anything else. He has to go! Go! Go!

From the very first word, keep the reader trapped on a roller coaster that never stops. You can use internal or external conflicts, but keep your writing taut. You have one shot to hook your reader, so do it well!

—

Lora thoroughly enjoys editing fiction and nonfiction books for Christian authors. She views editing as a ministry first, partnering with authors to make their writing polished and successful. She also writes a blog of “Savvy Writer Tips” to help writers spot and fix common problems. Read them on her website: EditsbyLora.com or on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SavvyWriterTips. Lora enjoys reading, editing, being outdoors, spending time with family and friends, music, art, quality chocolate, and soft kitties.

ABOUT ME

Editor. Teacher. Novelist.
A passionate lover of fiction, Karin doesn't just write novels, she helps others write their best stories! A certified substantive editor with the Christian Editor Connection, her goal is to help authors to put her out of business by equipping them with the tools they need to become better writers.

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