Write Now Editing

Omniscient or Third Person POV?

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The omniscient POV (point-of-view) is making a comeback! The thing is, I don’t think it’s intentional. And most of the time, it’s not very good. When it comes to genre fiction, especially character-driven fiction, third person is a better option because it strengthens the reader-character connection.

I edit a lot of character-driven fiction (romance and women’s fiction specifically), so I see a lot of authors who think they’re writing third person POV, but they’re actually writing a bad version of the omniscient POV (or a bad version of third person, however you want to crack that nut). There are three main indicators that you’re writing in bad omniscient/third person. First, let’s take a look at the differences, then we’ll look at the problem.

Omniscient Point-of-View

Sometimes called the “narrator,” this is an all-seeing POV, knowing the inner workings of all the characters and able to tell what’s happening in different places at the same time. This POV lets the reader see everything but from a distance.

Most of the classical literature you read in high school and college was written in omniscient, but today’s audiences want deeper connections with the main characters. You can’t get that with omniscient because it’s a shallow, superficial look at everything. For most of today’s genre fiction, the preferred POV is third.

Third Person Point-of-View

This POV lets the author show the story from the viewpoint of one or more characters. Third-person gets into the head of each scene’s POV character, showing everything as they experience it. The reader doesn’t get to see anyone else’s thoughts or emotions until there’s a scene break and the book switches to a different character’s POV.

Because third person POV gets into the head of the scene’s POV character—showing what that person sees, hears, thinks, fears, etc.—the reader can connect with the characters because she experiences the story at the same time and in the same way as the POV character.

Bad Omniscient/Bad Third Person POV

These are the three most common mistakes I see with third-person POV. Some authors try to recover by calling it omniscient, but that still doesn’t work. Let’s pretend like we’re editing a romance novel. The genre standard (and expectation) is third person POV with two POV characters: the hero and the heroine. Here’s what usually happens:

  • Head hopping. Instead of staying in the hero or heroines POV, the author show’s everyone’s reactions in one scene. We see how the friend, neighbors, and parents think and feel about the situation. That’s called head hopping—instead of staying in one character’s POV, you hop into the head of every character.
  • Same voice. Regardless of which character dominates the scene, all of the descriptions sound the same. When the barista, poet, mechanic, and insurance adjuster all marvel at the mountain’s majesty and use similar phrases and words to describe life and their setting, then the narrator’s voice has taken over and is imposing her own thoughts onto the characters.

On their own, #1 and #2 could be omniscient, but not when you add #3.

  • Focusing on specific characters. When 90% of the book focuses on the hero’s and heroine’s current story with only 10% of it hopping into the heads of other minor characters, then the book isn’t really in omniscient. It’s third-person with some errors.

Most authors I speak with or work with are actually trying for third person, but when they hop heads or create vivid descriptions that they don’t want to cut, they often think that maybe they’re writing in omniscient instead. They aren’t. They’re simply writing third person with some POV issues. Instead of trying to hide third-person POV mistakes behind a veil of bad omniscient POV, you’re better off fixing the mistakes and writing your story in strong third person (unless, of course, you really want to write in omniscient—then make sure you’re not slipping into third person).

Not sure which POV to use? Most genre fiction (romance, mystery, suspense, etc.) uses either third-person or first-person point-of-view. My recommendation: leave omniscient for literary or general fiction.

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Crafting Point of View to Create Immersive Reading by Chad Pettit

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I tend to get caught up on strange things when I listen to public speakers. I notice their idiosyncrasies and analyze odd things like their voice. Have you ever thought a person’s voice didn’t match their appearance? That’s the kind of stuff I think about. Weird, I know.

It’s the same in fiction, though, isn’t it? We notice the way writers use certain words or phrases more than others. It’s a sort of signature the writer may not even know is there. We call them “crutch” words, the words we lean on when we can’t think of anything else. The problem? They tend to create a voice that doesn’t match the passage, and this can be damaging to immersive reading.

I try to adapt the voice of a passage to the personality of the point of view character and the tone I want to create for a scene. I think this is something expert writers inherently do when they’re creating powerful scenes because they’re natural students of people and environments. They understand certain things:

  1. The feelings that come up in moments of fear, anticipation, grief, loss, happiness, or confusion
  2. What escalates or deescalates a situation
  3. How one person’s words can affect the minds and emotions of others

Knowing those things, writers use word choice, sentence structure, and tone to evoke those emotions in readers. Done poorly this makes for an unpleasant reading experience. Wouldn’t it seem awkward if a climactic moment in a Frank Peretti novel was written in the style of a Karen Kingsbury climax? Peretti is writing about warriors colliding whereas Kingsbury is writing about two people coming together in love. Imagine that the language and tone of the man professing his love for the woman were used for the angel fighting the demon.

See? Awkward.

The idea is to be as real-to-life as possible. Here is an example of a scene from my upcoming release, Fate of the Redeemed:

“Yara sat bolt upright and screamed. Ibrahim ignored the protests of his frail and cracking bones as he sprang to his feet and rushed to her side. He dropped down to his knees in front of her and grabbed her by the shoulders, calling out her name.”

Although we’re not getting deep into the character’s emotions, we’re getting an understanding of the urgency. This is done through a mixture of complex and compound sentences with varied length to create a sense of urgency. The idea here is to imitate the increased heart rate of someone in an emergency. Imagine if we did this with a different approach:

“Yara sat up and screamed. Ibrahim’s eyes blinked open, and he felt the protest of his frail and cracking bones as he lifted to one shoulder and regarded his screaming granddaughter. Seeing that she was upset, he got up, moved over to her, and tried to comfort her by placing his hands on her shoulders and calling her name.”

The second example employs a three-step list, but people don’t think that way in an emergency. They move from action to action, and they certainly don’t do so with a slow, methodical manner.

Good writing makes us feel the way characters feel. We suspend our sense of reality and get lost in the story, but this takes a great deal of effort on the part of the writer. When you read a book that has done this well, try to appreciate the craft as well as the story. Then, get back into that story!

Chad grew up lost in the world of fantasy fiction but alienated from a knowledge of God. With no real direction in his life, he shipped out for basic training twelve days after high school. He continued down a path of sin and destruction through two combat tours to Iraq, but then God pulled back the blinders, and he met his Lord and Savior.

One passion that never left him was his love for fiction, and in 2013, he went back to school and earned his degree in English. This helped him develop his craft, spending long hours pounding away at the keys until his battles with guilt, fear, and shame came alive on the page.

Now he is on a mission to pull back the curtain on spiritual warfare and show others how to overcome trials through faith and start living their best lives for God.

Before time froze, angels and demons battled for a man’s soul.

Hidden among the rooftops of a dark city, the archangel, Orac watches as a lone vehicle travels into the night. Armed with his fiery sword and orders to protect the driver of the vehicle at all costs, Orac takes flight. He seizes on the element of surprise to defeat the demon, Talnuc, but soon discovers that the demon is not alone.

When the archangel’s defenses are penetrated by the spirit of fear, he must rely on the help of a powerful watcher named Draven.

But, when an even greater and more sinister threat is revealed, drastic measures must be taken by Orac and Draven, and the remnant of the heavenly host must follow unprecedented orders for the sake of mankind’s future. As eternal forces collide, the journey of fate begins.

Book Review: Writing Deep Viewpoint by Kathy Tyers

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“There is no single component of the writing craft as vital to good fiction, and to developing an artistic voice, as point of view.  The term covers a great deal of ground, but basically boils down to sharing the world of your characters, starting from within.  Writing Deep Viewpoint helps establish a foundation from which a novelist can spread artistic wings and fly.  Highly recommended.” Davis Bunn, NYT bestselling author.

The Key to Great Fiction:

Why is deep viewpoint vital for hooking and holding your readers?
Who is narrating each scene of your story?
What are readers really looking for when they pick up a novel?
Where does the real action of a written story take place?
What are the two most important rules of storytelling?
When should viewpoint be established?

Deep viewpoint can convince your readers that they have become your characters. This powerful writing-craft skill set includes showing instead of telling, maintaining story flow, attributing dialogue effectively, and showing characters interact with convincing antagonists and believable settings.

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It’s as if Kathy Tyers climbed into my computer and grabbed the notes from my clients’ manuscripts, then put them into a book. I couldn’t believe how many times I said, “I tell writers that all the time!” while I read this book.

Tyers is spot-on with her observations about fiction writing today, as well as the issues that pop up most frequently in novels (even the edited ones). It’s not just that she can identify the issues, though; she’s able to explain why they don’t work, then she gives examples of how to make the writing better.

To clarify: many of the “bad” examples that she uses aren’t necessarily bad (and you’ll even see them in published books). It’s that the examples can be strengthened. As I tell my editing clients, these are the writing tips that will turn your good manuscript into a great novel that people can’t wait to pass on and read again.

I absolutely recommend this book. These are the types of practical tips that will help your writing grab the readers’ attention and pull them into the story.

Subtle Point of View Errors that Throw the Reader out of the Story by Robin Patchen

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Robin PatchenNot all point of view errors are head-hopping shifts. In fact, there’s been so much written on POV in recent years, most experienced writers rarely, if ever, shift points of view. Head-hopping is out, and the fact that some famous author does it no longer feels like a viable excuse.

But I still see POV errors in novels—both unpublished and published. Not shifts, but something more subtle. I saw a great example when I was a reading a historical novel set in Boston. Being a New Englander at heart, I love reading about my favorite city. So when the very educated, local doctor said, “You’ll be wanting to elevate that knee,” I was wicked annoyed. Because nobody from Boston uses that kind of construction—“you’ll be wanting to.”

In case you’re curious, Bostonians are also never “fixin’ to” do anything, but here in my new home state of Oklahoma, people are fixin’ to do stuff all the time. At the same time, to put the very popular and perfectly wonderful adverb “wicked” in the speech of an Oklahoman would almost always be a POV error (unless your character were me or any member of my transplanted family).

It’s not just colloquial speech that gets people, though. Today I was reading a manuscript in which the manly, sports-minded hero said his friend was wearing a “snazzy” suit. Men in the audience, clap if you often utter the word, “snazzy.”

I hear crickets.

That’s not a word most men use. So if you’re going to have a male character use it, there’d better be a good reason. Maybe he’s in the beauty industry. Or maybe he was raised by a pack of wild, fashion-crazed women.

Staying within your character’s POV isn’t just about only showing the reader what he’s seeing and feeling. It’s also about making sure every word, phrase, and sentence in his POV reflects his personality. Sure, your blue collar worker can use fifty-dollar words, but if he does, there’d better be a reason, and you’d better show us what it is. Yes, an elderly grandmother can high-five her best friend over the pinochle table after a particularly “phat” hand, but that had better line up with Granny’s personality—and stay consistent throughout the book.

So when you’re searching your book for POV shifts, pay particular attention to:

Word choice
Sentence structure
Sentence length
Mannerisms

One suggestion I give my clients is to read their stories aloud and in the voice of their character. Often, you may not see the error, but your ears will pick up on it. And you don’t want any to slip by, because POV errors throw readers out of the story, and that is wicked bad.

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Finding AmandaRobin Patchen lives in Edmond, Oklahoma, with her husband and three teenagers. Her third book, Finding Amanda, released this spring. When Robin isn’t writing or caring for her family, she works as a freelance editor at Robin’s Red Pen, where she specializes in Christian fiction. Read excerpts and find out more at her website, robinpatchen.com.

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Finding Amanda: Chef and popular blogger Amanda Johnson hopes publishing her memoir will provide healing and justice. Her estranged husband, contractor and veteran soldier Mark Johnson, tries to talk her out of it, fearing the psychiatrist who seduced her when she was a teen might return to silence her.

But Amanda doesn’t need advice, certainly not from her judgmental soon-to-be ex-husband. Her overconfidence makes her vulnerable when she travels out of town and runs into the abuser from her past. A kind stranger comes to her rescue and offers her protection.

Now Mark must safeguard his wife both from the fiend who threatens her life and from the stranger who threatens their marriage.

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I know it’s August, but we’re keeping the celebration alive here at Write Now Editing! Robin has donated a copy of her favorite writing resource to giveaway to one lucky reader. Just leave your name and email in the comments – I’ll pick a winner next week!

 

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A passionate lover of fiction, Karin doesn't just write novels, she helps others write their best stories! A certified substantive editor with the Christian Editor Connection, her goal is to help authors to put her out of business by equipping them with the tools they need to become better writers.

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