Write Now Editing

  • Home
  • About Me
  • Editing Services
  • Testimonials
  • Resources
  • Blog
  • Contact Me

Backstory: The Right and Wrong Ways to Use Dialogue

April 13, 2020 by Karin Beery Leave a Comment

Every character in every book has a backstory—we just don’t need to see it. There are times, however, when it’s necessary to include backstory in your manuscript to either fill in plot holes or show character development. One of the best ways to do that is by using dialogue to show backstory, but only if you do it the right way.

Here’s a look at the wrong way to show backstory using dialogue:

“I think one of my friends stole my watch,” Ben said.

“Why would you say that?” his mom asked.

“Do you remember my twenty-first birthday party last week? It rained all day and we had to move the activities inside? The house wasn’t big enough, so people filled the living room, dining room, and hallway?”

“Of course.”

“Well, my bedroom is at the top of the stairs. Anyone could have gone up there without us noticing.”

Here’s the problem with that section:

Ben’s mom already knows the details of the party, her son’s age, and the layout of the house. There’s no reason for him to give her that information. Doing so makes it look like this conversation is a set-up to give information to the readers (which it is). There are two ways to solve this problem.

Cut the Details:

“I think one of my friends stole my watch,” Ben said.

“Why would you say that?” his mom asked.

“Do you remember how crowded the house was at my party?  Anyone could have gone up to my bedroom without us noticing.”

Use the Dumb Puppet:

“I think one of my friends stole my watch,” Ben said.

“Why would you say that?” his mom asked.

“Do you remember how crowded the house was at my party?  Anyone could have gone up to my bedroom without us noticing.”

“How could you not notice someone in your bedroom?” Brian asked.

“The party was supposed to be outside, but it rained all day,” his mom said.

“We had to move the activities inside. The house wasn’t big enough, so people filled the living room, dining room, and hallway. Ben’s bedroom is upstairs. Anyone could have gone up without us noticing.”

Do you see the difference?

If the details of the party aren’t important, cut them (example one) and keep the story moving. If they are important, include a character who doesn’t know what’s going on (in this case, Brian is the Dumb Puppet) so the other characters can explain it without sounding awkward.

Filed Under: writing Tagged With: dialog, dialogue, dumb puppet, writing dialogue, writing tips

Get Noticed for the Right Reasons!

Learn how (and why) one easy fix will keep agents and publishers reading your manuscript. It's not a secret, but it might surprise you!

Enter your email to receive this 2-page PDF with the easiest way to make a great first impression, and get monthly tips, book reviews, and author interviews.

ABOUT ME

Editor. Teacher. Novelist.
A passionate lover of fiction, Karin doesn't just write novels, she helps others write their best stories! A certified substantive editor with the Christian Editor Connection, her goal is to help authors to put her out of business by equipping them with the tools they need to become better writers.

Contact Me

Connect

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Copywriting

Karin understood my advertising and marketing writing needs and accomplished the project in record time. She asked all the right questions up front to equip herself with enough … [more]

Editing

Substantive Fiction Editing: A substantive edit looks at the big picture. Start here to tackle the big issues before moving on to the nit-picky details. Substantive edits not only point out … [more]

Author Page

Lover of all things fiction, I also love University of Michigan football, the Detroit Lions, Tigers, and Red Wings, kayaking, gluten-free cupcakes, and my husband.

Resources

Fiction: Substantive Editing Classes Substantive Editing for Fiction 101 In Substantive Fiction Editing 101, we’ll look at the basics of a well-written novel and learn how to help our … [more]

© Copyright 2015 Write Now Editing · All Rights Reserved · Design by Pink Haired Pixels/Carol Jones Media

· All Logos & Trademark Belongs To Their Respective Owners·