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Mid-Level Story Structure by Nic Nelson

August 19, 2019 by Karin Beery Leave a Comment

One of the most common problems I see in manuscripts by unpublished authors (besides slipping out of “storytelling” into “expository telling”) is a tendency to ramble from description to dialogue to action to discovery etc., almost at random.

This is fine when one is pre-writing— just brainstorming, outlining, and pantsing one’s way along, chasing inspiration. One pursues and often captures vivid scenes, character insights, and plot points around which the rest of the story will be written. But if “the rest of the story” fumbles its way toward the next gem, the reader might not stick around long enough to reach it.

What’s missing is a reliable way to hold the reader’s attention as you rhythmically spool through “the rest of the story” in a way that sets up each crushing defeat and glorious triumph. Fortunately, such a rhythm is well understood: it’s called story structure.

Story structure isn’t the same as a story arc, the three-act (or four-box, or eight-point) overall plot structure that makes a story satisfying. Nor is it a formulaic straitjacket to strangle your creativity. It is a basic underlying rhythm that engages the attention, emotion, and curiosity of your readers, and maintains it as long as you maintain that rhythm. Depart from it whenever you like… at your own risk.

Story structure (perhaps “story rhythm” would be a better term) is made up of two kinds of scenes, which Dwight Swain called “Scenes” and “Sequels,” each of which has three “story beats.”

Scene:

  1. Goal
  2. Conflict
  3. Disaster

Sequel:

  1. Reaction
  2. Dilemma
  3. Decision

The three parts of a Scene sound just like any scene you might write: a character strives toward a specific Goal, encounters Conflict or resistance, and either fails to attain the Goal, or succeeds and is disappointed for some reason, or discovers what the next Goal must be. It might not end in “disaster,” but there must be some kind of “uh oh” or “what next?” involved, which hopefully sets up another scene.

But this is Swain’s insight: begin with a Goal and Conflict, but always end in Disaster of some kind, at least something that feels like a Disaster to your main character and to your reader.

Then make the next scene something different: make it a Sequelto the scene before it. Describe the POV character feeling, absorbing, Reacting to the Disaster that just happened. Then give them a Dilemma: force them to make an impossible choice (or one that seems so to that character at that part of their character arc). Let them agonize in a way that resonates convincingly with your reader. But not for too long. They must Decide on some course of action—which becomes the Goal for your next Scene.

Goal, Conflict, Disaster — Reaction, Dilemma, Decision

Goal, Conflict, Disaster — Reaction, Dilemma, Decision

As you string these together, you start a virtuous cycle of fascination and tension, an engine that drives the reader inexorably through the story. This smoothly-running engine can roar like a rocket or coast along at cruising speed, as the pace of the story varies, but if you can keep it running without interruption, you’ve got what’s called a “page-turner” on your hands. You have learned how to structure a book that your reader can’t put down.

Again, this is a scene-by-scene story rhythm that just works. It isn’t a formula, because every author will implement it differently. Your reader won’t “see” this Scene/Sequel structure because you’ll clothe it in characters, setting, thoughts, emotions, dialogue and action. Your reader will see and hear what you describe to them; they won’t notice the story structure you’re using.

Unless, of course, you don’t have one, or you deviate from the Scene/Sequel cycle in a distracting way. Then they will indeed miss the smoothly-running engine, even though they won’t know what exactly has gone wrong. Every passionate reader of fiction, regardless of genre, is familiar with the thrilling purr of well-structured storytelling even though almost none of them would recognize the machinery if they peeked under the hood. But readers don’t need to understand the mechanics of story structure to know immediately when it has stalled on them. Very few readers are willing to push your story along to the next service station. Now that you know the secret, you won’t do that to them anymore!


Nic Nelson started following Jesus early in college and has found it difficult to keep up with the fellow. It’s more like hurtling headlong from one impossible challenge to another, involving widely varied failure and just enough triumph to keep him sane. Which is probably just how Jesus intended it. Oh, and for the past fifteen years he has been helping authors to “write well and publish wisely.” Since clients keep coming despite Nic’s complete lack of advertising acumen, and they keep saying nice things about him when he isn’t around, he seems to do this pretty well.

Filed Under: writing Tagged With: fiction editing, fiction writing, Nic Nelson, story structure

Floating Body Parts: Yes or No? by Karen Saari

May 13, 2019 by Karin Beery Leave a Comment

“And the wrench is still there. What would it be like to operate with a professional team? I wouldn’t know that’s for sure. Give me more suction.”

Eyes rolled around the room.

I wrote this a few years ago and never gave it a second thought. But when I read it over yesterday, trying to determine if it was suitable for a contest entry, all I could see was eyeballs rolling around the room like they were on little roller skates. Now that’s a floating body part (FBP)!

I think you know what I was trying to say – everyone in the room rolled their eyes at the Doctors comment on professionalism. But that’s not what I wrote. There is nothing wrong with using the phrase rolled her eyes, as long as it’s connected to a person.

“Trying not to laugh, she rolled her eyes at his antics.”

We all know what that means. A writer could get super technical and write, “Trying not to laugh, she looked up and down quickly, at his antics.” That’s ridiculous. I wrote the sentence and I don’t know what it means! The sentence doesn’t qualify as a FBP because we understand the idiom. And the alternate, about looking up and down, will stop the story.

How can you tell which eye rolling is a FBP? In the second sentence those eyes are attached to a she. In my original sentence — Eyes rolled around the room – those eyes are rolling free!

Floating body parts are easy to spot. Every time a body part is mentioned it should be attached to a body. Referring to any body part without the stability of a whole body behind it, sets it afloat. Let’s look at a few.

He dropped his hands. My literal, visual brain sees a man standing, and his hands drop off his arms. What could you write that conveys the same feeling of frustration or giving up? His shoulders drooped. Or He slumped in the chair.

She slammed on the brakes and her arm shot out. This is a cause and effect situation. As adults, nearly all of us have reached out without thinking to protect our passenger. But the way this is written it sounds like the brakes caused her arm to shoot. She slammed the brake pedal and instinctively her arm went across the empty passenger seat. Because I used the word slammed, speed is suggested and we don’t need words like shot or flew.

There is a fine line between nabbing all apparent FBPs and recognizing an idiom. The determining factor should be – does it stop the story? If not, then carry on. If yes, then rephrase it.


Karen Saari loves to play with words, whether it’s writing or editing. She is a Christian, wife, mother and grandmother. Karen is currently working on her BA in English and Creative Writing. She writes contemporary Christian women’s fiction, and is working on a new book – The Neighbor’s Club.

An avid reader, she also sews and knits and is learning to draw and paint with watercolors. Yard sales and thrift stores are her favorite shopping places, besides craft stores. She lives with her husband, Robert in the mountains of northern California. They enjoy traveling the Oregon coast and photography.

Karen blogs at http://karensaari.com

Filed Under: best practices, writing Tagged With: book editing, fiction, fiction editing, fiction writing, Karen Saari, self-editing

Bad Writing is NOT Your Author’s Voice

March 4, 2019 by Karin Beery Leave a Comment

Aerial view a woman using a retro typewriter

Purple prose. Telling. Large sections of backstory.

More and more often I find these literary no-no’s popping up in published works. In fact, it happens so frequently that I’ve started to question myself—are these now in vogue? Are we reverting back to these writing styles? Is this what I should be teaching my clients and students? As an editor and teacher, I need to make sure I’m giving correct information!

After some inquiries and research, I’ve discovered this disturbing trend: these are still considered writing issues to be corrected, but editors and authors are now embracing bad writing as “author’s voice.” Why? Because well-established writers do it. Because every now and then someone who writes that way gets nominated for an award. Because (in my opinion) it’s easier. Because it’s the “authors voice.”

I’ll see your argument and raise you one truth: it’s not voice, it’s bad writing.

When it comes to authors who self-publish, I realize there’s nothing freelance editors can do to convince an author to take our suggestions; however, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be making those suggestions. It seems that there are editors out there who no longer suggest correcting these types of issues. Instead, they shrug it off as author voice, then carry on.

Imagine if we embraced this standard in other areas of our lives.

Would you hire a house painter who leaves streaks and paints things he shouldn’t just because someone else did it once and no one complained? Would you hire an accountant who doesn’t double check his work because he hasn’t had a problem yet so he probably won’t have one with your taxes? How about a mechanic who doesn’t tighten every bolt because there’s never been an issue in the past? Or would you rather work with the person who paints completely and cleanly, who checks his math, and makes sure every belt, bolt, and screw is secure?

As editors, our standards shouldn’t be whether or not someone else got away with something but whether or not something’s right. Can we force our authors to accept and incorporate these changes? Of course not. Should we point out the issues anyway? Absolutely! Is there going to be push back from the authors? Count on it.

I get it. No one wants to be told that their work is bad, and it’s not always easy to share that truth with others (especially when it’s really bad), but that’s what editors are paid to do. It certainly is easier when you’re a copyeditor or proofreader and you can point to style guides to show why something is grammatically incorrect (thank you Chicago Manual of Style). In my opinion, it’s significantly more difficult to tell someone their word selection and phrasing is confusing and lackluster, but that’s why authors hire us. Sure, there are some people out there who just want to get a book published, but other writers want to produce good books, and their editors are failing them.

This is my plea to editors everywhere:

Speaking as an editor, please stop sugar coating bad writing. Call it what it is. If the author wants to keep it, fine, but make an effort to stop the madness.

Speaking as a reader, please stop sugar coating bad writing. It produces mediocre, barely engaging books that could have been great if the authors had tried to work through their issues to strengthen their craft instead of believing good enough was good enough.

Do you need to brush up on the industry standards for fiction? Check out Substantive Editing for Fiction—this four-part class will walk you through the foundational elements you need to know to provide a comprehensive substantive edit. The first class—SEF 101—start today!

My debut novel—Summer Plans and Other Disasters—is now available on Amazon! Sign up for my monthly newsletter and you’ll receive the unpublished prologue: find out what inspired Calista Stephens to make those summer plans. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for writing tips, updates on Guiding Light, and more!

Filed Under: editing, writing Tagged With: book editing, editing fiction, editing tips, fiction editing, substantive editing, writing tips

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ABOUT ME

Editor. Teacher. Novelist.
A passionate lover of fiction, Karin doesn't just write novels, she helps others write their best stories! A certified substantive editor with the Christian Editor Connection, her goal is to help authors to put her out of business by equipping them with the tools they need to become better writers.

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